Asian versus Western Parental Demands: A Deepening Rift?

I recently read this really interesting article in the NY Times on a school district in the US, where parental opinions on curriculum and academic pressure are severely divided along racial lines. Apparently, the White parents in this particular school are pressuring the school to reduce academic competition and pressure, while Asian parents, mostly immigrants, are anxious that the school will then be reducing standards, "dumbing down education," and preventing their children from excelling academically.

Here are some interesting extracts from the article:

"On the other side are parents like Mike Jia, one of the thousands of Asian-American professionals who have moved to the district in the past decade, who said Dr. Aderhold’s reforms would amount to a “dumbing down” of his children’s education.

“What is happening here reflects a national anti-intellectual trend that will not prepare our children for the future,” Mr. Jia said.

About 10 minutes from Princeton and an hour and a half from New York City, West Windsor and Plainsboro have become popular bedroom communities for technology entrepreneurs, pharmaceutical researchers and engineers, drawn in large part by the public schools. From the last three graduating classes, 16 seniors were admitted to M.I.T. It churns out Science Olympiad winners, classically trained musicians and students with perfect SAT scores.

The district has become increasingly popular with immigrant families from China, India and Korea. This year, 65 percent of its students are Asian-American, compared with 44 percent in 2007. Many of them are the first in their families born in the United States.

They have had a growing influence on the district. Asian-American parents are enthusiastic supporters of the competitive instrumental music program. They have been huge supporters of the district’s advanced mathematics program, which once began in the fourth grade but will now start in the sixth. The change to the program, in which 90 percent of the participating students are Asian-American, is one of Dr. Aderhold’s reforms. (bolding mine)"

The article was intriguing, and in some ways it mirrors the discussions I have with parents here in Singapore as well. International schools in Singapore often have a fairly even split between White and Asian families, and this demographic often creates a sort of split personality for the school, pulling it in two entirely different directions. Asian parents tend to want more "academic rigor," whereas Western parents worry that the programs are becoming too competitive and rigorous for their children.

Is it possibly for schools to address the concerns while still maintaining respect for both cultural attitudes towards parenting and education? Also, how can schools run by European and American faculty and administrators become more sensitive to the ways in which Asians view education and parenting? Perhaps the answer is to engage in more cross-cultural dialogue so that both sides actually talk to each other and learn from each other-- taking one side or another seems to be a recipe for disaster, as it will inevitably alienate half the school's population.

The power of family stories: why family narratives matter

My son has always been fascinated by stories about his first few years of life. He loves hearing how his grandmother and great-grandmother took turns holding him when he first arrived in this world. He finds it funny when I tell him how nervous I was when I brought him home from the hospital; I had no idea what to do with a squalling newborn. And he is particularly delighted by stories about the naughty things he did when he was a toddler.  His fascination with family stories doesn't end with himself though. He asks endless questions about my childhood and that of my husband. Were we like him? Did we get into trouble?

While I've always humored my son and told him these family stories, I never realized how valuable these narratives are. Recently, I read an article titled The Stories That Bind Us in the New York Times about the importance of family narratives. In this article, Bruce Feiler, author of The Secrets of Happy Families, asserts that children who grow up with a strong sense of their own family history are happier and more successful in life.

Feiler describes a study done by Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush in 2001. The researchers asked four dozen children a series of questions about their own families. They then "compared the children's results to a battery of psychological tests the children had taken and reached an overwhelming conclusion. The more children knew about their family's history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self esteem and the more successfuly they believed their families functioned." Feiler concludes that a child's knowledge of his own family's history is a massive predictor of the child's pyschological and emotional health and happiness.

Feiler believes that family narratives give children a sense of belonging to a larger entity. They are part of a team, and their team has a long history. This sense of belonging gives a child the security he/she needs to make his way in a difficult world; the sense of security that comes from a strong knowledge of one's family history helps build resilience. The best narratives, according to Feiler, are those that teach a child that a family has ups and downs, but through it all the family sticks together.

As someone who is fascinated by the power of stories, I'm drawn to this idea that family narratives, like all the other stories we hear when we're young, shape our lives. Like foundational stories (myths, fairy tales, children's stories), these family stories too give us scripts for our lives. They teach us about who we are, where we come from, what we value, and where we belong.

These days, I don't wait for my son to badger me for family stories. I volunteer stories about my childhood and my parents' lives  because I know that they are important.